Live like you were dyin'


One day sitting at the table, reading the newspaper  I was suddenly plunged  into the bottom of the pit of sadness, tears flowed and I said to my daughter “I wish I could just talk to my dad. I want to curl up on his lap as I did when I was a little girl, was sick or had an ear ache or pain. I felt safe, sitting in the rocking chair on his lap. Ty missed his grampy, at least they are together”.  I dried my tears and went back to reading the paper. I noticed an article about Dolly Parton. She had just released a new song. That was news worthy after so many years of not hearing of her. I wondered about the song. As I was driving to work in silence (having lost my desire for music) I turned on the 7:00 a.m. news,  I was a little early and the announcer said “here is the new song by Dolly Parton with Brad Paisley”. So I listened, thinking I could handle one song…..

When I get where I’m Goin’ by Brad Paisley and Dolly Parton


Very rare “rainbow cloud’ like this one; seen on our drive from LA to the Grand Canyon. Was Ty riding and herding those ‘drops of rain’ into an amazing sight for us?

When I get where I’m going
On the far side of the sky
The first thing that I’m gonna do
Is spread my wings and fly

I’m gonna land beside a lion
And run my fingers through his mane
Or I might find out what it’s like
To ride a drop of rain


Yeah when I get where I’m going
There’ll be only happy tears
I will shed the sins and struggles
I have carried all these years
And I’ll leave my heart wide open
I will love and have no fear
Yeah when I get where I’m going
Don’t cry for me down here


Ty’s much loved grand daddy (surprised by the camera)

I’m gonna walk with my grand daddy
And he’ll match me step for step
And I’ll tell him how I missed him
Every minute since he left
Then I’ll hug his neck

Repeat chorus

So much pain and so much darkness
In this world we stumble through
All these questions I can’t answer
So much work to do

But when I get where I’m going
And I see my maker’s face
I’ll stand forever in the light
Of his amazing grace
Yeah when I get where I’m going
There’ll be only happy tears
I will love and have no fear
When I get where I’m going
Yeah when I get where I’m going

Note: During the same conversation with Ty in the car driving to work that last week when we discussed more than the” words in red”. I don’t remember his exact words but he questioned why God allowed so much sadness and why bad things happened when people didn’t deserve it. He had experienced either his own heartache or that of friends within the past few years. A young girl had just lost her life in a car accident. I understood him questioning the pain. I tried to answer that most death, disease, accidents and heartache are caused by evil in our world and giving us free will,  it is not God’s doing. Although sometimes God does allow suffering sometimes to reach us or to teach us. I mentioned the times he and his sister would wander away in the stores when they were 4 or 5;  after being instructed not to do so.  A couple of times I allowed them to believe we were actually separated. At times, as a parent, I had to let them suffer; although it always hurt me more than them. Sometimes the bad happens, we cannot understand why but God sees the whole picture, we only see a part of it.

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